Big Sleuth on Campus
by Ms. Kreatopita
Summary: What if Sven Vollfied had had to deal with working for the IBI, dating the smartest girl on campus, coping with his roommate's emotional baggage, being embarrassed by his Jewish mother, and graduating college all at the same time? At only 21? Pretty AU
1. Jewish Mothers, Oy!

**Disclaimers: I do not own Black Cat or the (sexy) character of Sven Vollfied. **

Big Sleuth On Campus 

"Hey, mom! How's it going at home?…That's great. Are you and dad doing alright?… yes, I got that Rosh Hashana card, it was lovely…Yeah, I can't believe I'm twenty-one either! Listen, I just wanted to call and tell you…What? How did you guess! Yeah, I just got accepted by the IBI! I start training this Monday, and then… No, the training won't conflict with my college schedule so…Ok, I'll let you go… Don't worry, I won't get myself killed! I'll call tomorrow…Mom, you know I hate it when you call me boychik! Bye now!"

Sven placed the phone back on the receiver and tried to focus on the papers scattered on his desk. Legal documents intermingled with notes and essays for his calculus class. With a sigh, he began to sort the sheets by content, his green hair lightly brushing against his shoulders all the while. Since today was Saturday and he had nowhere special to be, Sven was casually garbed in jeans and a grey long-sleeved shirt, sitting at his apartment desk and gazing out the sunny afternoon window. His bright chestnut eyes surveyed the city that he had called home ever since he started college.

A sudden knock at the door startled Sven, causing several papers to fly across the tiny room. "Just a second!" he frantically called as he snatched social security forms and linear equation problems from midair. By the time everything was back to order, though, the lock jittered and the knocker let himself in quietly. At the doorway stood a young man with flowing blond hair and sunglasses. Like Sven, he was casually dressed, with jeans and Grateful Dead shirt.

"You know the library closes in an hour and a half, right, Vollfied?" asked the newcomer. "We have to leave soon if we want to get that research done for Forensics. This report is the difference between me and a-"

"Man, you're just like my mother, Charden!" grunted Sven as he stretched in his chair and gathered his notebooks. "It's not like that C you got last week is gonna kill you or anything. You're one of the smartest guys on this campus!"

"Well, it's a good thing you have a roommate like me to drag you over there; you're not doing too hot either," retorted Charden, pushing his sunglasses up. "If I recall, you suck at chemistry. Seriously, who in their right mind would put down 'Diet Coke and Mentos' as an example of a complex chemical reaction?"

Sven got up and pushed his way out the door. "Hey, those seminars make me thirsty! Besides, I like to do things my own way, and the only reason I have a C is because I don't feel enough challenge." This made Charden roll his eyes behind his sunglasses as he locked the door behind them.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, the two roommates sat at a table side by side, reading and scribbling intently. Every so often, Charden assisted Sven with formula conversions while the latter checked over a fine-handed essay on the history of the Socratic method. When boredom struck, Sven stealthily read a gentleman's magazine hidden in a literature book. It was during one of these mental breaks that Charden pointed to one of the desks to the left of them.

"Could you ask that girl over there if she has any lead? My stupid mechanical pencil is acting bloody retarded!" At the desk sat a young lady with long golden hair and sparkly cobalt eyes behind a pair of glasses. He didn't know why, but Sven was overtaken by a wave of excitement. It was enough to make him tear his eyes away from the centerfold concealed within the textbook, and then almost drop it. Charden's smirk made his intent visibly obvious, and he whispered, "Last week you said that you wanted me to give you the hook-up, right? Well, after you got pimp-slapped by Echidna, I set my coordinates on someone less dangerous for you. Go on! She's looking straight at us!" With that, the self-appointed matchmaker nudged Sven out of his chair, so hard that the latter tumbled to the floor, head first.

_Flamberg, that conniving son of a-_ thought Sven while correcting himself back up again. He could see the blond girl hiding her face behind a physics book, blushing. _Great. Now she thinks I'm a fumbling idiot! _From under the desk came a swift kick to the seat of his pants and a whisper from Charden to go on. As much as he to beat the living daylights out of his roommate, Sven knew that, unlike him, he had more experience with girls. Thus, his pride was swallowed, and he advanced towards the other table…

Only to trip over a stray pen.

This time, though, he did not just fall; gravity went the whole nine yards and caused him to land right on his face. Stars flashed before his eyes; laughter echoed through his brain, only to be hushed again by order of the librarian. Disoriented, Sven tried to pick himself up again, but bumped his head on the table. The laughter resumed more strongly as he crumpled back to the floor. Just then, a pair of hands slid beneath Sven's head and positioned it on something soft and warm. He opened his eyes to see that his head now rested in the lap of the blond girl.

"Oh, Gyanza, that was rich!" cheered a boy with stringy black hair and tight physique. "Only a fool would fall for such a trick. As they say, 'He who steps blindly onto the path of-'"

"Cut the Zen crap, Lugart!" interrupted a tall African man with a bushy afro. Both males stood very tall with an air reeking of arrogance. "What matters is that 'Old Hen' is still a dweeb that can't even walk without 'Mommy Chardy' at his side!" Charden, who had been reading the "literature book", glowered furiously at Gyanza as he and Lugart snickered carelessly and walked away.

By this time, Sven had recollected his senses and lifted himself up into a sitting position next to the blond girl. At a closer view, he was able to become absorbed by the deep blue that glimmered in her eyes. He felt himself lean closer, but pulled away in time to tell her, "Thank you…so much. I-I'm sorry about this-"

"Don't be; I've been in your position many times before," she replied in a sweet, melodic voice. Then she extended a hand towards him. "I'm Tearju Lunatique, from the biochemistry program."

Hesitant at first, Sven took Tearju's hand in his. "My name is Sven Vollfied, and this is my friend Charden Flamberg. We're both studying forensics." His roommate waved, then resumed enhancing his "literary" skills.

Tearju let the names roll off her tongue like candy. "Charden…Sven…Those are beautiful names! Say…the library is going to close soon. Would you two like to join me for dinner? I know it seems sudden, but I've never felt such connection with any of my peers before, and I'd like to get to know you better."

To this, both Sven and Charden agreed eagerly with their expressions. Gathering their belongings, the threesome headed towards the front of the library. Not wanting Tearju to have second thoughts about him, Charden shelved the literature book, magazine and all, in a random section, then acted like nothing happened.

* * *

While waiting for their pasta to arrive, Sven broke the exciting news that he was accepted into the International Bureau of Investigation. Charden congratulated him, ordering a bottle of champagne, ("But you know I don't drink, you _shmuck_!" protested Sven. "Hey, it's not like you can smoke in a non-smoking restaurant!" retorted Charden.), while Tearju looked on, letting the silly quarrels of the two men entertain her. Right when they were debating over whether smoking in front of a lady should go down in their "Gentleman's Code" book, Sven's cell phone rang. He pressed some buttons and lay it on the table, stating, "Hey mom, you're on speaker phone!"

A European accented voice responded on the other end. "_Oy_, Sven, your friend Melvin shouldn't have to put up with my _kvetching_, now, should he?"

"Melvin?" Tearju eyed Charden with a quizzical look.

"I don't know how she got that either…" sighed Charden as he spoke into the phone. "Hello, Mrs. Vollfied!"

"Oh, Melvin! How good to hear your voice! Listen, Sven darling, I forgot to ask you if there was a nice synagogue nearby the university you're going to for the High Holy Days. You know, you aren't going to get to heaven if you just _shmooze_ and work, and I told your grandma before she died, 'My little _boychik_ will join you in heaven even if it kills him!' And you know how nitpicky she was about the Sabbath and keeping kosher…"

Through a bite of meatball powdered with cheese, Sven assured her, "Yeah, don't want to go to hell…But there is a temple just down the block-"

"Are you going with anyone else?" broke in Mrs. Vollfied. "How about Melvin? He's a nice boy. Tell him to go over with-"

"Charden is Catholic, mom!" Sven argued.

"Well, get him to convert! Oh, wait…has he had a circumcision?"

Silence. Both Tearju and Charden stared at the phone, then Sven, then back to the phone. _God, why didn't I start the IBI job today so I could pull out my gun and shoot myself? _thought the exasperated Sven as he hit his forehead. He picked up the phone, turned the speaker option off, and finished off by saying, "No, mom, not to my knowledge, and personally, I'd rather not know. I have to go, ok? Bye," and with that, his phone was flipped shut.

Giving a sideways glance to Tearju, Sven asked her meekly, "You don't hate me now, do you?"

Without skipping a beat, Charden and Tearju replied with an innocent, _"Nu?"_ This caused all three of them to crack up in laughter, lightening the mood tremendously. It wasn't hard for them to choose another subject and pretend that nothing awkward had occurred.

After dinner, Tearju said goodbye to Sven and Charden outside before they went their own ways. But once Charden had already started walking off, she pulled the other to the side out of view. Her deep blue eyes locked into his light brown eyes.

"I just wanted to thank you for such a wonderful evening, Sven," she began, "and I think you and Charden are the two kindest guys I've ever met…" She blushed. "Especially you. And to answer your question, I like you just the way you are." Tearju leaned forward and lightly touched her lips to Sven's cheek. Then, with a final good night, she headed off, leaving Sven with feelings he had never felt before.

* * *

A/N: Alrighty, you might be wondering a few things, so I'll try to answer some questions.

Why make Sven Jewish? **First off, it's what I am. Secondly, it never specifically mentioned his faith, so with him having a European name, I thought it would kind of fit. Plus, it makes his character and the story a lot more interesting.**

Where's Lloyd?** All in good time. Remember, Sven met him through the IBI, so he'll come next chapter.**

Of all people, why is his roommate Charden? **Variety's sake, but more importantly, it would be very interesting to see what might have happened had a future member of the Apostles of the Stars had known someone like Sven on a personal level. Oh yeah, and in the story, they've known each other since first entering college (roughly three years)**

What about Train? **You have to remember that Sven hasn't even heard of Train or the Black Cat yet. But to satisfy the masses, he shall make a cameo or two, and Rinslet too hopefully, but they will be between 12-15, in respect to the time the story takes place.**


	2. Public Radio

**Disclaimers: I don't own Black Cat, the IBI, or any governmental agencies that I wished I owned.**

**Big Sleuth On Campus**

Sunday went by like a blur, and only when his alarm clock rang the next morning did Sven realize that Monday was already here. Stretching the kinks out of his back and yawning, he slipped into the shower, then proceeded to dress himself in a smart looking outfit that he had just bought for his first day at the International Bureau of Investigation. Just as Sven was buttoning his dress shirt and adjusting his slacks, Charden poked his head into the room, one towel around his waist, another in a turban perched on his head.

"You've started acting weird since Saturday night," Sven's roommate pointed out. "All day yesterday you were humming to yourself, smiling for no reason, and being all cheery and crap. Why, this morning, I could hear you singing "Perfect Day" in the shower! In the three years that I've known you, you've never gotten **that** exuberant about starting work. Tell me, Vollfied, what's up?"

At first, Sven pretended to ignore Charden and pull on his khaki suit jacket in front of the mirror, but he could feel his friend's sky blue eyes bore holes in his back. Thus, he turned to him and replied, "Fine, I'll be honest; I've been thinking about Tearju." Sven decided to leave it at that in fear that Charden would become jealous had he known about the kiss he received from her.

"Yeah, she is a real looker, I'll admit," reasoned Charden with no hint of suspicion in his comment. "So that's what's been eating you. You know, you don't really seem the type to be interested in girls, much less…Oh god, I have to get in the shower!" And with that, Charden dashed into the bathroom, almost losing his towel, and Sven was allowed to finish dressing in peace. He checked himself in the mirror before walking out of his bedroom into the kitchen to make breakfast before school.

* * *

Class was over for the day; now the hard part was getting to work on time. Sven had sprinted out of his literature class and into his silver compact car even before Gyanza and Lugart could drop an ink-filled balloon intended for him. Instead, it ended up hitting a young man and splattering his white hair with dark blue liquid.

"Ah, my purse!" wailed the man in a feminine voice as he tried to wipe the ink off of his school bag with an embroidered rose. "If I wasn't running late for my GLBT meeting you guys would be, like, so dead! You hurt my feelings! I don't like you anymore!" He ran off like a girl, sobbing his lungs out all the while, then accidentally bumped into a girl with black hair and wide eyes.

"Watch where the hell you're going, Creed!" she exclaimed as she whapped him upside the head with her heavy book bag.

Sven watched all of this from his car, and would have stayed around, but he had to be downtown in fifteen minutes. "Damn, that Kyoko can really pack a punch! I don't see how Charden could possibly have a crush on that chick!" The engine roared to life, and across the freeways and roads he drove, to the place that would change his life forever.

* * *

To his surprise, Sven was five minutes early, (could it have been done had he not accidentally gotten on the HOV lane?). As he was locking his car, another vehicle pulled up beside his, a shiny red convertible. In it rode a mousy looking guy with brown hair and glasses. He could have been no older than Sven. The new arrival hopped out of his car, smiling cheerfully at Sven. The latter merely nodded in recognition, then began walking in the direction of the station.

"Are you the newbie here?" asked the mousey man casually as he caught up with Sven, trying to keep his attaché under his arm.

Slowly, the green haired gent turned to face him. "How did you know? I don't even know you!"

"Sorry, sorry, how rude. The name's Lloyd Goldwynn, IBI agent in training." Lloyd extended his hand out, which Sven took a bit awkwardly. "Don't worry, I've only been here for a month, so I'm just learning the ropes." Lloyd gave Sven a pat on the back before hurrying on ahead at a jogger's pace. "We're going to make an excellent team, Agent Vollfied!" he called behind him as he disappeared through the building doors.

Sven, on the other hand, was too stunned to follow. Here was a guy who he had never even met, and not only did that guy know what he came for, but his name too. Either he could be a psychic or a stalker, and both options gave Sven the creeps. Nevertheless, some unseen force caused him to become curious about this mousy man. _What the hell ever…_thought Sven as he entered the IBI building.

* * *

Two weeks passed, but to Sven, it felt like only a few fleeting seconds. Another Saturday it was, and after having suffered school and finally finishing introductory detective training, a day off was paradise. Or heaven, if one considered that Sven and Charden scored on a double-date with Tearju and Kyoko for later that evening. Not like Sven wanted it to be a group date, but he still felt a bit uncomfortable with the idea of appearing to "go steady" just yet.

At that moment, standing in the bathroom in just his pants, Sven busied himself with shaving while Charden, already dressed in a handsome blue dress shirt and signature sunglasses, quietly read his Stephen King book on the living room couch. The radio near the couch softly filled the room with soft classical piano music, (After a nice long argument in their freshman year, both Sven and Charden agreed that NPR was the best choice for music when both were in the apartment, although it didn't stop Charden from enjoying an occasional Slipknot song). Right as Sven wiped his face clean of shaving cream, the newscast came on.

"And good evening," announced the voice on the radio. "It's half past five here at NPR; I'm Belze Rochefort with local news…Today, two more shootings occurred within the downtown area, making for a total of six this week. Both victims are in critical condition; so far, this string of shootings has only brought one death, and the shooter has yet to be identified." Sven, while buttoning his shirt, took a seat next to Charden, and both listened intently. "Also, police have reason to believe that a drug ring has been active at a local university." The roommates exchanged surprised glances, then leaned in closer to hear. "Although not yet confirmed, members of one of the city's most elusive gangs have been spotted on the campus, and eyewitnesses claim that, disguised as students, they have sold illegal drugs to students. An IBI investigation will commence this Monday. Now for stock market news-"

With a quick movement, the radio was switched off, and Sven plodded off to the bedroom to get his shoes, humming one of the Mendelssohn violin concertos to himself. Charden called after him, "This is horrible, isn't it?"

"Yeah, the IBI's going to be a madhouse when I go back to work," replied Sven from the other room as he hummed.

"That's true, too, but think about it; from what we just heard, some drug dealers have weaseled their way on campus by pretending to be students. Now let me ask you: Who else do you know from the IBI that attends our university?" Sven reentered the room with a blank stare. Charden continued to explain, "What I'm saying is that you probably know more about this place better than anyone else in your department. Who's to say that the IBI won't make **you** a mole to pass on information to the big guys? You're already a student, and no one would ever suspect you."

Sven raised his eyebrows and retorted, "Bull. I'm still a newbie; they would never put me on the job!"

"Then explain this," countered Charden as he reached across the side table and shoved Sven's certificate of detective training into his friend's face. "I'd count your cookies if I were you, **Agent** Vollfied. Now let's go, we can't be late for our dates!" Not another word on the subject was raised as the two left their apartment, although Sven did continue humming but this time around replaced the notes with the word "crap".

Crap crap craaaaaaaap crap 

_Crap craaaaaaaap crap_

_Crap crap crap dammit crap_

"Shut up! I get your point!" yelled Charden.

* * *

"…So the duck said to the used car salesman, 'That's not my tree!'" The four of them enjoyed a good laugh as they stood in line for movie tickets. _You can always count on Charden to come up with a joke, _thought Sven as he wrapped his arm around Tearju casually. Why not? Charden was clutching Kyoko around the waist. _Seeing him with such a young girl kind of scares me…she looks like she should be in middle school or something. _Finally, after another five minutes, it was their turn at the ticket counter.

"Four tickets to 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre', please!" requested Charden as if he were ordering a happy meal with a limited edition toy. Sven gave his roommate the stare of death; women his forte might be, but planning dates usually landed Charden in potholes. For this reason, he received a healthy kick to the shin.

Within the booth the cashier tapped on his keyboard, then shook his head. "Sorry sir, the show is sold out. I can only offer two tickets for 'The Prestige', and after that, everything else is booked solid."

Sven chose this time to interfere. "Go on, Charden, you and Kyoko can see that movie. Tearju and I will do our own thing." And before anybody could object, Charden was left alone with a bouncy, uncharacteristically hyper Kyoko.

A ten minute walk took the couple to a secluded park away from the bustle of the city. Trees bathed in silver lunar light and the lake in the center glittered in starlight. Sven chose a tree facing the water and invited Tearju to sit with him beneath it. Together they sat in silence until Sven spoke.

"Have you heard about the drug ring that's rumored to be on campus?" he asked, if only for the sake of conversation.

"Yeah, I have. It's a scary thought, you know," replied Tearju. "Criminals on school grounds, drugs…Are you at the level where you might be made part of the IBI investigation team yet?"

To this Sven tugged at his dress shirt collar. "Charden says so, but I hope that's not the case. I don't want to be the one who has to frame someone at my own school." He struggled with a stubborn collar button as he spoke. "Stupid button…I'm sorry, but can you help me with this? That's the last time I let Charden touch this shirt."

Calmly, Tearju scooted closer to Sven and began to coax the button out of its hole. She was so near that he could feel her warm breath on his neck and smell her sensuous jasmine perfume. Finally, his collar was open, but another button popped out with it, exposing a bit more neck than he intended. Tearju gasped a little, then chuckled cheerily. Their faces were only inches apart, so that they ended up gazing into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity. Slowly, Sven leaned in forward, closed his eyes, and let his lips softly brush against hers…

Gunshots. They resonated through the midnight air and shattered the natural silence of the solitary park. Both Tearju and Sven were startled out of their moment and their attention was diverted towards the direction of the sound. Against the light of the moon, a small silhouette stood over a shadowy mass, a smoking gun in its hands. But as soon as Sven lay eyes on it, the shadow scampered off into the shady woods that rustled behind it.

Neither of them dared to move. Tightly they clung to each other for a moment that rested heavily on their shoulders. Finally gaining his senses, Sven quietly approached the mass that remained crumpled on the ground, and reeled back in horror when he saw what it was. Tearju crept beside him, and only a glimpse caused her to scream in horror.

Blood was seeping into the pristine soil from Kyoko's head.

* * *

A/N: How I love cliffs! Anyhow, I received several more questions and will now address them and others.

Was that a naughty magazine that Sven was reading in the first chapter? Use your imagination. You see, this is about the time when Sven was just establishing his Gentleman's Code. Also, the fact that he and Charden are working on it together will play a very significant part later on.

Are Sven and Tearju eventually going to get married? In all honesty, I'm still debating that. What's getting me is whether I should weave AU into the true storyline or if I should just let it take off in its own direction. Either way, I know what you're thinking, and yes, Sven and Tearju's relationship is going to grow, and believe me, I'm ready with the physical and emotional goodies!

Isn't Kyoko, like, seven years younger than Charden? Hold your horses! You haven't read the third chapter…


	3. The Young and the Tactless

**Disclaimers: I don't own Black Cat, the IBI, or any firearms that would be illegal in thirty-two states.**

**Big Sleuth On Campus**

The atmosphere was unbearably tense for Charden in the waiting room Sunday evening. With his head buried in his hands, he quietly sat and let thoughts swim within his mind. Stretched out on the bench next to him, Sven peacefully dozed, snuggled next to Tearju, who had also nodded off and now rested her head like a kitten on his chest. Looking at the couple, mixed emotions stirred within Charden.

_If only I hadn't sent Kyoko after them,_ hethought, _our date would have gone smoothly. I should have known better than to send a lady into the night alone. _His gaze hardened to a glare. _Well, if stupid Sven hadn't run off with Tearju, I wouldn't have even considered sending Kyoko in the first place! That idiot should know that the city is crawling with assaulters and predators at night. If only we had stayed together as a group, if only Sven had asked before spiriting Tearju away, if only we had never met her, if only…_Charden stood, his body shaking profusely. _Why am I always his underdog? Why does he get a gorgeous girl while mine is bleeding to death? Why must I be his matchmaker when I know every woman I pick for him I want for myself? I love Sven as a friend, but this is too much. Nobody seems to even know my name anymore. And Sven's mother…"Melvin this, Melvin that!" I'm tired of this. I hate this! I feel chained, unwanted, I'm not sure who I am anymore. Who am I…?_

**"I'm Charden Flamberg, dammit!"** he screamed in explosive fury.Anguish vibrated through the sterile hospital air, and tension gave way to a heavy silence. Quietly, both Sven and Tearju emerged from their slumber in response to the startling outburst. Charden felt naked with these two pairs of innocent eyes staring at the dark, undesirable part of him.

He drew a shattered breath. "You have work tomorrow, Sven. Take Tearju home and go get some sleep. I'll wait for Kyoko by myself." Sven almost objected, but Charden insisted, "I just need a little alone time, that's all. Now please, rest up, I'll be fine." Behind his sunglasses, Charden could see that his roommate did not want to abandon him, but the way Sven silently obeyed and escorted Tearju to the door told him that, of all people, perhaps he understood what he was going through.

* * *

Despite Sven arriving back at the apartment before midnight, it was obvious as he got out of his car the next morning that he was utterly bushed. Slightly angry about his stupid car lock pad, he shoved a cigarette in his mouth and trudged over to the entrance of the IBI building. The morning sun reflected off the glass building gaily and the landscaping was perfectly manicured. _It's too cheery for a Monday…_despaired Sven in his mind as he tried to push Saturday's incident from his mind and compose himself in a business like fashion. He strolled over to a glass pane and adjusted his hair and handsome suit for good measure, but from thin air, another reflection joined him. 

"Good morning, fashion guru!" greeted Lloyd merrily as he approached Sven. "My, do you look like crap! And a cancer stick in your mouth before lunchtime. Rough night?"

Lloyd's bluntness often scared Sven, but at least he was honest. "You could say that," replied Sven, who calmly puffed away as he spoke. "That mystery gunman apparently got to my roommate's girlfriend, and he's bummed out. Poor guy didn't even come home last night." With a final tug of his tie, Sven turned towards the building entrance.

"That's serious. I would think you would be more concerned, especially since we're going to be on the case."

"Don't mention it, please!" hollered Sven behind him. But in midstep, he whirled around to face the mousy four-eyes. "Wait…. we haven't even walked through the door, and you said that as if you were positive of it. Are you trying to scare me?"

Lloyd sighed and pushed his glasses up. "Let's just say that I can make very precise calculations," he finalized, catching up with Sven's long strides. In the three weeks that Sven had known him, Lloyd always presented himself as a man of little words or actions, one that kept to the background. In a word, he was a nerd. But the way he was able to predict exactly how events would turn up freaked Sven out. So much to the point that he was oddly intrigued and drawn to this Average Joe's mysteriousness.

Hey, if nothing else, at least Lloyd was honest with him.

* * *

One of the highlights of Mondays in particular was practice in the shooting range. It was here that Sven could escape the drudgery of paperwork and let some stress out on people-shaped targets. Of course, he still had a ways to go in order to be officially certified to carry a gun with him, but he never let the prospect of one day getting his own gun cloud reality. In all honesty, he, Sven Vollfied, a Jewish mama's boy whose father had been a renowned general of the International Army, was frightened by the thought of having the power to kill people. 

_A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, I guess, _he decided, and he donned his earmuffs, picked up a pistol from the rack, and began a round of shots at a target. The backlash from the firepower still shook his frame, giving him a sort of adrenaline rush as he fired rapid, somewhat accurate shots. During a reloading of ammo, he saw a young lady in the range next to him struggling with one of the guns, pounding on its side as if something would pop out.

"Dang it, dang it, dang it!" she groaned to herself, violating pretty much every safety rule in the IBI Artillery Safety Guide (patent pending) by flicking the trigger and then looking in the barrel. Her youth reminded Sven of Kyoko a little bit, making him smile sadly. Being the gentleman that he was, Sven ambled over to her range and tapped her out of her frustration.

"Need any help, miss?" He coaxed the gun out of the girl's hands and inspected it carefully. "Hmmm…seems that the barrel has been tampered with, and…hmmm…uh-huh…and that would go... This looks very simple to fix." At this distance, he was able to see her bright sky blue eyes and her rosy cheeks. But he couldn't help noticing something about her blond hair, though. He let it pass in order to concentrate on tinkering with the parts of the gun. After only a minute of silent, barehanded work, he loaded and fired at the target in one fluid motion.

"See? Good as new!" The girl's jaw dropped as he set the pistol back in her hands. Then, she quickly turned away and pretended to clean the gun as the supervisor came to the range.

"Vollfied, you know there is to only be one person to a target," he stated, smoothing his hand over his shaved head.

"Sorry, Inspector Naizer," apologized Sven as calmly as he could. "You see, sir, one of the agents needed assistance with a defective firearm." He snatched the gun from the girl and gave it to Naizer to look over. The superior scrutinized it cautiously, and returned it with an amazed look.

"This particular article has been giving our technicians trouble," Naizer explained. "Not one of our experts could figure why it would suddenly stop shooting after half of a round. Tell me, how old are you?"

"Twenty-one, sir," replied Sven, catching the girl suspiciously trying to make herself small behind a table from the corner of his eye. "My father has taught me about handling arms and machinery since I was five years old."

Naizer nodded. "Ah yes, the famous Hans Vollfied from the International Army! I thought your last name sounded familiar! Say, how would you like to train in our technical department? Usually I only extend the invitation to those with more than two years of experience, but you have one hell of a potential, Agent Vollfied!"

Sven couldn't contain his excitement upon hearing this. "My sincerest gratitude to you, sir!" he thanked politely. "I'll be sure to put in a good word for you when I call my father. Please, I'll begin immediately if you wish!"

Giving a very faint smile, Naizer responded, "How about you finish up today, take tomorrow off, and be ready for your first day as technician on Wednesday?"

"Perfect! Thank you very much!" Sven grinned as Naizer left the shooting range. Then, he turned to the table and spotted a shock of fair hair on the ground. Quickly, he glanced around and saw that he was to only one there. Leaning over, he lightly clutched a handful of hair, pulled, and…

Found himself holding a wig.

"Gimme my wig, you meanie!" cried a young voice from behind the darkness of the table. Sven caught a flicker of movement and grasped instantly onto what felt like a small, thin arm. He gently tugged, and out popped the girl he had assisted earlier, only this time, purple hair emphasized her alarmingly young face. His eyes then fell to her towering high heels that shot her height almost six inches, and then to a disturbing pair of fake breasts under a tight shirt.

"Who are you, how old are you, and what the hell are you doing in an authorized government building?" inquired Sven sternly, his eyes glaring.

It took a minute for her to respond, and when she did, she looked off to the side timidly. "My name is Rinslet…I'm twelve, going on thirteen in a week." She hesitated. "I'm here so that I can learn how federal agencies work."

Sven looked at her in disbelief. "Didn't you learn a thing about it in school? More importantly, how did you sneak in without a valid I.D.? I'll bet someone triple-dog dared you to sneak in here for a dollar or something! Why didn't security say anything about…" It all confused him. "Look, give me one reason that I shouldn't go to Naizer right now, turn you in, and have your parents give you a _potch_ on the _tuchus_ so hard you can't sit for a week."

This put tiny Rinslet on the spot, and her face scrunched as she thought. Franticly, the words came out of her mouth. "Because…I think you're sexy!" She blushed beet red. "No, no! That came out wrong! Let me think! Because…I'll do whatever you want for a week for free! Yeah, anything you want! I'm a master at thievery and disguise! Just please don't tell my parents!" By this time, Rinslet was practically on her knees groveling.

Furiously, Sven let out a sigh. "Would you shut up if I just got you out of here unnoticed?" The girl nodded, and with a tug, Sven dragged her to the door of the shooting range wing, snuck out into the hallway quietly, then shoved her quickly out the nearest emergency exit, making sure to close it before the alarm went off. Just as he was about to walk out, a tiny hand slipped through the emergency exit and dropped a slip of paper into Sven's palm.

"Call me!" whispered Rinslet's voice as the hand withdrew. But just before the door completely closed, an alarm pierced through the hallway, and the emergency light above began flashing. _Dammit_, thought Sven, as he frantically switched the alarm off, then scampered away as if nothing happened.

* * *

Glad to get that out of his hair, Sven returned to the office, sat at his desk, and found an envelope on top of his tower of papers. Stamped clearer than day were the red letters spelling out "Confidential", making him expect the worst. Flashing a look around, he opened the letter under his desk and stared at the report contained within, along with a blue note scribbled hastily in ink.

_We're both on the same team for this, Vollfied. The chief had to leave on an emergency call, so the commissioner charged me with the delivery of the report. Soak it in, and see you on Wed._

-_Agent L. Goldwynn_

_P.S., Naizer knows already, you'll start your tech training next week instead. Take tomorrow off as planned._

When he was done reading, Sven leaned back in his chair and sighed."Well, at least my Monday didn't fly by without being crappy."

* * *

**A/N: Q and A, baby!**

Who's Naizer again? **He's Number V for Chronos, and yes, he's bald**

Is there reallly a Hans Vollfied? **In this story, yes. They never even said if Sven had any parents, so I gave him a mother and a father that would best reflect his personality and virtues in the manga. A phone call between Sven and Hans will take place next chapter.  
**

What happened to Charden and Kyoko? **I'll get to it, I promise! It's just that I could not weave it into this chapter.**

How **did** Rinslet get in? **She is a master thief, even at only twelve! It seems only reasonable that she could pretend to be an IBI worker and get in!**

Sorry if this Q n' A recurs too often for some…I simply owe it to the reader to explain certain things as a side note that help them enjoy the story.


	4. Two Different Relationships

**Disclaimers: I do not own Black Cat, Sven Vollfied, or any of the four members of Il Divo…Not sure why I mentioned that, but I wish I did own them, though…(drowns in her own drool)**

**Big Sleuth on Campus**

Tuesday proved to score a bit under Sven's expectations. He appreciated getting the day off from work, but school seemed to more than compensate for his lost working hours. After several hours in forensics, chemistry and government classes, the young detective felt that perhaps he should have skipped class and should have reported to work just for the hell of it. But no, his mother would have a fit if she heard he was ditching, and his father…_Oy_, his father was even worse about those things. Then again, the father-son relationship between them was fairly bumpy to begin with.

_It feels like forever since I've had a chat with my old man_, thought Sven as he strode through the campus back to his apartment to relax. He was dressed casually in a black t-shirt that emphasized his handsome torso, and jeans that showed some signs of wear and tear. All around him, the atmosphere sparked with life; trees boasted the first signs of autumn with gold and scarlet leaves, birds serenaded each other with vibrant songs, and everywhere he looked cheery people turned his way.

_It doesn't help that Charden is down in the dumps, either_, he considered to himself. _He's become obsessed with Kyoko's health and hasn't come to classes for the past two days._ Sven reflected back to how his roommate was visibly broken when he had told him to leave him alone with Kyoko at the hospital, and how when Charden came home last night around 11:30, he didn't even acknowledge Sven's existence. Having known someone like him all through college made it even harder to close out the leeching sorrow.

Then, almost suddenly, someone appeared right beside him.

"Hello there, Sven!" greeted Tearju merrily, shattering any and all dark thoughts that had clouded Sven's mind beforehand. "You're not at work and it seems there are no more classes for you. Where are you headed?"

A little shyly he replied, "My apartment, maybe make a little lunch for myself and then relax." He turned to her and asked, "Why do you ask?"

"My next class is in the early evening, so I decided to kill some time and unwind." Tearju gave a sideways glance. "You live in the complex right across from Silphy's Cafè, right?" Sven nodded silently, making Tearju clap her hands in joy. "That's really funny…I was just heading out that way, too! The building looks so gorgeous! I'm not sure if I told you, but I've been apartment hunting, and I always wanted to see that facility's interior."

Sven rubbed the back of his neck subconsciously. "Well, you can come to my place if you like. My roommate is away and our rooms aren't totally upside-down today."

Tearju giggled in acceptance, and then held out her hand. Taking hers in his, Sven led the way to his apartment

* * *

"Please, Kyoko, wake up." This almost became Charden's mantra as he sat by his girlfriend's side in the pale stillness of the hospital room. For Kyoko to be laying in front of him with a blood-stained strip of gauze around her head broke his heart and made her silence unbearable. Despite the fact that he had only met her last year, Charden knew she was "the one", and he felt drawn to her in such a way he had never experienced before. Even though she was his girlfriend, there were times when Charden could not help but feel as though Kyoko was like a sister he never had. (He had only one older brother, but he left the family when Charden was only seven.) Of course, these clashing ideals held him back from taking the relationship to a very high level. But, he supposed, all types of love were the same. 

A groan startled Charden out of his reverie, almost causing him to fall out of his chair. Regaining his senses, he leaned over Kyoko's face and could hear her struggling to wake up. Watching her twitch and moan, Charden put a firm, assuring hand on her chest and whispered softly, "It's alright, don't be scared. Come on, wake up!"

Slowly, the girl's eyes fluttered open and she let out a loud yawn. Then she proceeded to prop herself up on her bed, trying to balance the aching weight of her head on her shoulders. Her look was that of amazement and confusion as she took in her surroundings.

Charden couldn't help himself; he flung his arms around Kyoko and gave a cry of joy. It felt comforting to feel her petite, warm body in his grasp once again, even after only two intense days. After a while, Charden held her at an arm's length and breathed a heartfelt sigh. "Welcome back, Kyoko darling," was all he could say.

Rather than return the gesture, the girl's eyes widened as she fought her way out of his embrace. She panted in fright and spoke the words that shattered the warm welcome.

"Who are you?"

* * *

With a click, the door unlocked and Sven swung it open, allowing Tearju to enter his humble abode first. He then followed her in, closing the door behind him, and made his way to the kitchen. Meanwhile, Tearju interested herself in certain articles on the bookshelf. Several photographs stood within assorted frames, and odd keepsakes divided these pictures into two distinct groups. Upon closer inspection, she could see that the left side contained Sven's family pictures while the right held those of Charden's family. On the left side, she saw a particularly large photo of a tall, handsome, grown man with hair like Sven's who stood beside a portly, kind-looking woman and a small child in a tiny school uniform. Tearju realized that the scrawny little tike was none other than Sven, and she giggled at how utterly cute he looked back then. 

"Do you prefer pastrami or salami?" called Sven from the kitchen. He stepped out of the kitchen garbed in a ridiculous pink apron that said, "Cutie in the Kitchen" in bold letters (a gift from his mother). Tearju just could not control herself; she looked at the picture, then at the grownup Sven, and burst out laughing. "What's so funny?" asked Sven over the bubbly din.

It took a minute for Tearju to compose herself and reply, "**You are so adorable!**" She breathed carefully and tried to calm down, gaining control over her chuckles as Sven came next to her and looked at the shelf.

"Oh my god, that was so long ago," he mumbled while untying his apron and folding it over a nearby chair. He pointed to the tall man in the photograph. "That's my father, Hans, an immigrant from Germany; man, was he the toughest guy around! During the Red War thirty years ago, he commanded one of the largest divisions in the International Army, and after rescuing his men in a bomb fire, he was given an Emerald Star, the highest award there is." Then he pointed to the woman. "And that's my mom, Ingrid. She's originally from Sweden and met my dad one night while he was at a port-of-call. The story goes that my father accidentally wandered into my mother's house thinking it was the local bar, and that's when he found her. From what I hear, it was love at first sight." He glanced at Tearju, who visibly showed profound interest in his ancestral stories. "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

A small smile spread across her face. "If I've liked you ever since we first met in the library, the answer has to be yes," Tearju answered, stepping closer to Sven and placing her hands on his broad shoulders. "You never got to finish what you had started on Saturday night. It seemed you wanted to say something or-"

She never got to finish her sentence; Sven wrapped his arms around Tearju, drawing her body closer to his. Then, impulse took over, and he brought her into a passionate kiss. They both closed their eyes and held on to each other tightly as their lips joined in sweet union. Sven allowed his arms to caress Tearju's back while she ran her hands through his beautiful green hair. It felt like a whole lifetime contained within a single moment.

Just then, the phone rang, waking the couple out of their romantic moment, though not rudely. Sven calmly let go and went to answer the call as Tearju glanced at the clock and realized that her next class would commence soon. With a wave and a smile, Tearju said good-bye and promised to see Sven tomorrow. The door closed behind her, leaving her new partner in a sort of daze. Abruptly, an obnoxious ring beckoned him to finally pick the phone up.

* * *

"Hello?" 

"Sven, are you there? You could at least call once and a while to let us know you're still alive," sharply responded a rich German voice on the other end.

Smiling and chuckling to himself, Sven recognized the voice immediately as his father Hans Vollfied. _Damn, pigs do fly! _he thought, never thinking his hard father would ever call unless, of course, his mother had her shotgun against his back. "_Guttentag_, dad, it's nice to hear from you," he greeted in the nicest tone he could produce. "What _dybukk_ possessed you to call me? Usually mom makes all the calls."

"Don't try to sweet-talk me into backing out, son; you know I could never measure up to the kindness your mother has shown for the two of us. So, this is…a rare action, if you will." Hans paused. "Anyhow, I just wanted to make sure you heard these words out of my own mouth so you don't _kvetch _about it later. Great job on making the IBI, my boy…" Another pause followed. "There! I said it. For a long time I never thought that you would follow in the steps of your forefathers and join a government agency. I was in the army, my father was in the navy, his father was in the army, his father helped start the IBI…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I don't need a history lesson," cut in Sven, who pulled out a cigarette and proceeded to light it. He decided to continue earnestly, "You know I hate it when shove ancestry in my face; it makes everything you say sound forced."

White noise replied in Hans' stead, but when the reply did come, it startled Sven to the point he almost dropped his burning lighter. "What do you mean 'forced'? I take time out of my day to call my ungrateful son and try to congratulate him, when I could be working on fixing Frau Steinberg's clock, and this is what I get in return?!"

"Congratulate! I don't consider just saying words without any truth behind them just to get them out of the way a 'compliment'!" Sven retorted boldly. Indeed, his father was the toughest guy around, but that calloused heart had caused the whole family a great deal of pain. "Call me back when you actually mean it!"

"Listen, son, you do **not **talk to your father like that. I raised you; I taught you everything you know. You have no right to object what I say!"

"This always happens, father! Not once have I ever seen you take blame for anything and not once have you given honest praise for anything I've done!" Sven was practically yelling at this point. "**You **wouldn't allow me to pursue a career in auto mechanics because **you **said the pay sucks!"

"Well, it does, and I don't want my son to earn scrappy wages just because 'you enjoy working with cars'!" Hans fired back.

"And **you **pressured me into smoking because **you **thought that nothing else would make me a man! Now look at me! The nicotine cravings is becoming uncontrollable!" He glanced at the cigarette in his hand and thrust it out the window in disgust. "I'm fighting this addiction alone while you just smoke your life away and say 'Sven must have just been a troubled child'!"

"Then join a twelve-step program and stop whining!" reasoned Hans.

"Only if you do it first!" Sven yelled back.

"Don't you be sassy with me, young man!"

"Stuff it!"

"Shut your mouth!"

"You shut up!"

"Go to hell!"

"Drop dead!"

"Both of you stop right now!" interrupted a woman's voice who had tapped into the line.

"Ingrid, this is a talk between two men!" protested Hans.

"Don't tell mom what to do!" argued Sven.

Ingrid answered with a calm voice, "A talk between two men? Hah! Sounds more like a nagging contest between two _yentas_! Apologize to each other before I have to _shlogn_ both of you."

"Darling, this boy does not know the meaning of 'respecting thy mother and father'!" reiterated Hans strongly.

"I'm not a boy, dad! I'm twenty-frickin'-one, for god's sake!"

"Stop, stop, stop!" demanded Ingrid. "_Gevalt_, you'd think men couldn't beat the crap out of each other more than they do...Anyway, at least stop yelling and just say you're sorry. I tell you, Hans, you too Sven; no matter whose fault it is, or who did what, in the end, we are all as guilty of some sort of sin in some part of our life. Otherwise, we'd all be bored stiff in heaven because God would keep us away from the stuff that puts the filling in the _hamentashin _of life! So, forgive and forget, because you two have been through this before, and knowing you two _meshuggenahs_ it's going to happen again."

When the _shpeil _had finished, Hans let out a weary breath on the other end and stated dryly, "Fine; _Entschuldigung_, son."

"Yeah, I'm sorry too, father. Sorry for worrying you, mother. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"_Auf Wiedersehen_, Sven."

"_Auf Wiedersehen_, mom, dad. Take care." And with that, Sven placed the phone back on the receiver. He flung himself down on the couch and rubbed his temples, trying to make sense of this ridiculous love-hate relationship.

About a half hour later, the door clicked open, and a ragged, worn out Charden shuffled into the living room. Before Sven could even open his mouth, his roommate blurted, "I don't want to talk about it!" and resorted to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him forcefully. Once again, Sven was all alone, left to swim in the dark pool of his emotions which eventually rocked him to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: Wow, this turned out to be a bit darker than I expected. Anyhow, continue with the Q n A, I shall.**

_Was die Hölle_ is up with all the German? **I thought having Sven know more than one language would enhance his character and that of his father, especially since Hans is considered German in my story. (Now that I think about it, Sven's nationality was never brought up in the manga.) By the way, in this fic, Sven is fluent in English and German (with neither being dominant over the other), and he knows basic Swedish, French, and Yiddish. And for the record, I don't know how to speak a lick of German.**

Is there a reason why the relationship between Sven and Hans is so rough? **As with a lot of immigrant families, Hans wants Sven to be able to make a secure living, and naturally, coming from a line of military and federal figures, it would be reasonable that he would want to push Sven in the same direction. But you know how that usually turns out…And Hans being hardened by years in the army doesn't really make the family as functional as it could be. (And yes, Ms. Vollfied does own a shotgun.)  
**

My eyes might have been deceiving me…but did it say that Charden had a brother?**Heh heh! The great thing about fanfiction is that "other characters" can be added and it can totally turn a story around! It gives things a whole new dimension and opens doors to the possible life of a character outside the author's plot. And no, you don't need an eye exam; Charden will have a brother. I can't spoil anything for you, but I can say that his name is Merlot Flamberg and that he will make a cameo in good time. **

_And another thing_: If anyone who reads this is a good drawer and can draw a really good picture of Sven and Tearju together (cough, kissing, cough) I will reward the respective person with the privilege of deciding the theme/plot of the special "Big Sleuth" chapter I plan to do soon, and _anything goes_! (Meaning the winner's theme can be downright silly, but appropriate) I would try to draw it, but I'm just a beginning artist. If there's more than one winner, I will deliberate whether to pick one or all. (Terms and rules are subject to change and the contest will end by the time Part 6 is posted.)


	5. You Think YOU Have a Problem!

**Disclaimers: I do not own Black Cat or Sven Vollfied. (I do, however, own more than sixty pictures of him stored on my computer.)**

**Big Sleuth on Campus**

Sven had fallen into such a deep sleep that the next morning Charden found his roommate had not budged one inch from his place on the couch. Smiling ruefully, he tiptoed his way to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of orange juice. As Charden drank, he could not push yesterday's events out of his mind. _How could she forget? _he wondered, downing his drink. Kyoko had been the world for him; now, there was only a sliver of a chance that she would recover. But even if she did, the possibility of restoring the relationship to what it once was seemed even bleaker. Looking back to the couch to make sure his roommate was still asleep, Charden snuck over to the silverware drawer, cracked it open, and a shot of metal slid down his sleeve. Then, he glanced at the clock to see it was almost eight-thirty.

_Time to wake up Sven! _thought Charden mischievously, refilling his glass with water and slinking his way to the side of the couch. Approaching him silently, he could hear Sven muttering something as he turned in his sleep, although he couldn't make out all the words.

"Oh yeah…mmm, Tearju…that's good…ooh, give me some sugar…don't stop now…ooh, bring it on, woman!"

Charden leaned in closer.

"Oh, yes, yes, **yes! **This is the best coffee I've ever tasted!!!"

This caused Charden to bolt upright and automatically dump the entire glass of water on Sven's head. On the couch, the latter sputtered and flailed as the frigid liquid hit him square in the face. Coming to his senses, Sven shook his head like a dog to rid his green hair of water before stretching and (accidentally) bopping Charden in the nose. Then, he saw that it was eight thirty-five and swore under his breath (which word he used is up to the reader). In twenty-five minutes, Sven had to be downtown and at the IBI station and ready to take on the dreaded drug case.

"Aw, crap…Could you, make me some breakfast while I get ready, Charden?" ordered Sven as he dashed to the bathroom so fast that his clothes practically slid off him. Then he leapt into the shower, ran back to his room in only a towel, realized too late that his towel got stuck in the bathroom door, clobbered Charden for laughing at him, gathered his towel around him again, went to his room, and quickly changed into his suit for work. He would have almost forgotten breakfast had his roommate not shoved a brown paper sack into his hands, and even then, he didn't check the contents before rushing out the door in a business-attired green blur.

* * *

Manning the steering wheel with one hand and munching on the peanut butter and jelly sandwich (which had been crappily made) in his other hand, Sven raced down the freeway at seventy miles per hour. Now he had only ten minutes to get cover the twelve-mile stretch to the desired exit, then park, and then clock in. This wasn't to say that Sven chose to drive like a maniac, but he did come within feet of several potential accidents.

Out of his side mirror, Sven spotted a flicker of red that began to come closer at an alarming speed. Startled out of his wits, he swerved into the next lane and barely avoided a familiar little red convertible. Thinking it would be suicide to try and yell to the driver over the freeway, Sven whipped out his cell phone and dialed a number on his work list. Almost a second later, he saw the mousy driver answer his phone.

"Lloyd, what in god's name are you doing, speeding on the road and almost killing me?" he asked in a teasing voice.

"Please, Sven, you're the one to talk," replied Lloyd, bringing his car next to Sven's so each could see each other speak. "Besides, I had to help my wife with some housework this morning."

Silence. Sven stared at Lloyd, then the road, then at Lloyd again. "You…have… a wife?!" he exclaimed incredulously. In the past month, Sven and Lloyd had started to break the ice between them and try to establish a good relationship, (when you worked with a man as open and interactive as Lloyd everyday, how could anyone not?). With this in mind, they had given basic backgrounds of their lives and interests to one another. But Sven wondered_, How could anyone in their right mind forget to tell a person that they were married_?

It was Lloyd who answered for him. "Sorry, Vollfied. I mean, I married out of high school, and with you being a year older than me, I would have thought you'd at least lost your bachelorhood." At this, Sven shot him a very disturbed look, and somehow imagined the possibility of a Mrs. Tearju Vollfied…Nah, maybe later. He had only gotten to first base with her, anyhow, and it's not like he intended on completing the play anytime soon. Slowly, Sven put the phone back to his ear and got an idea.

"Tell you what. You and I will race right now. Whoever gets into the IBI building first gets to make the other person explain his whole love life, nothing off limits! Ready, set, go, bye!" Then, in fluid movement, he snapped his phone shut, stepped on the gas, and braced himself for a race to preserve his gentleman ego.

* * *

What made him come to this lecture was unknown to him, but Charden had the urge to put himself back out into the world. Thus, he had decided to sit in on a seminar put on by the psychology professor on campus. Alone he entered the classroom, and alone he sat, with nobody wanting to approach him. Kyoko's incident had spread like wildfire among the students, and those who didn't fear Charden because of this merely watched from a distance in forlorn sympathy.

From the corner of his eye, he glimpsed the notorious Janus flirting with every girl within the radius of his arm's reach. As much of a player as he was, Janus usually took the macho approach when trying to attract others which, to put it simply, happened to be the stupid, just-wanna-get-my-hands-on-you method. Charden shook his head as one of the blond girls with a single scar on her forehead slapped the wooer clean across the face, having been approached in the said manner. With a look of disgust, she walked away and in Charden's direction. He watched her approach and gestured for her to take a seat next to him.

"Thanks," the girl sighed as she plopped near Charden on the bench. "That Janus sure creeps me out, although not half as much as Creed…Oh my! How rude of me! I'm Sephiria Arks," she chimed, taking Charden's hand in a firm handshake, "Psychology is my major, and I plan on starting my own practice someday. I couldn't resist coming to today's lecture, especially since the topic is memory and its psychological borders."

At this, Charden rose, his face having turned pale. Without even saying a word to Sephiria, he boldly strode towards the exit, avoiding the perplexed stares of the other students. Before opening the door, Charden gave one last look at Sephiria, who quickly rose and stood by his side. Her empathetic expression as she clung to his sleeve meant more than any verbal apology.

* * *

Only three minutes remained by the time Sven had parked his car in the parking lot, with Lloyd already locking his car and calmly walking towards the entrance of the IBI building. The former would not be satisfied until he learned this mousy man's love secrets, and with this in mind, he got out of the car and darted through the lot, sprinting to catch up. By the time Lloyd had noticed, Sven was only a few feet behind, making speeding up futile. Nonetheless, he picked up the pace, and together, the two agents raced for the door.

One hundred feet away from the door, Sven ran beside Lloyd, cracked a smile, then teased, "Better get ready to talk about your wife, Goldwynn!" before taking the lead. Rather than let up, Lloyd simply laughed and followed. Even with their private life on the line, it was very obvious that both Sven and Lloyd were having fun.

Ten more feet left. They were dead even, and neither let the other have a hint of a lead. But then, a quick jolt of energy allowed Sven to jump forward and, with his fingertips, touched the handle of the door…

Before he landed flat on his face.

Sven's face met the concrete, and though he hadn't broken anything in the process, his ego did take a bit of a bruising. He could hear Lloyd come up beside him, laughing in amusement. As he helped Sven up, he commented, "In all fairness, you did reach the door of the IBI first, just like I thought you would. Just tell me what you want to know and…Sven?"

The one in question was still a bit disoriented, and once he gained his footing, he noticed his nose was bleeding slightly. Sven wiped the trickle of blood with his sleeve, grinned, and simply answered, "Damn, that was fun!" He opened the door and let Lloyd enter first, whispering to him, "You'd better come up with some saucy love stories come lunchtime!"

* * *

"…and that's basically our relationship in a nutshell," concluded Charden. Having skipped the seminar, he now sat under an old oak tree next to Sephiria, who had been listening intently. As awkward as it felt at first, it was a relief to know that here was a girl who, despite being a stranger to him, actually wanted to hear him out. Besides, it was as though something had clicked when Sephiria clung to Charden's arm and gazed directly and sincerely into his eyes. And her eyes…they were like windows into the soul that never refracted an emotion or betrayed a feeling. It was almost as though she had been sent to help him.

"Wow," sighed Sephiria as she stretched herself out in the grass. "Your experiences with life have really touched me. I could never even start to understand the pain you've gone through with Kyoko or the jealousy you feel towards-"

"We don't have to talk about it anymore right now," interrupted Charden, spotting a wave of students heading their way. From his pocket he drew out his cell phone. "Let's go ahead and exchange our info so we can meet up again." When the trading of phone numbers and addresses was complete, and before Sephiria could leave, Charden put a hand on her shoulder and whispered, "Thank you."

* * *

"…and that's basically our relationship in a nutshell," concluded Lloyd as he manned the steering wheel. At the moment, the two partners were driving out towards one of the university's fraternity houses to gather more information on the drug ring. To keep busy on the way there, Lloyd kept his promise and dictated his love life in full detail. By the time he had finished his last statement, Sven could only stare at the mousy man with raised eyebrows and a positively dumbstruck look.

"I still don't know how you did it," Sven finally stated, diverting his eyes to the road. "A wife and a kid at your age, and you're a whole year younger than I am. Although there were some things that could have gone unsaid…way to scar my ears for life."

"Are you saying you've never-"

"Nope, I'm more of a virgin than a bottle of olive oil, and by god, I'm proud of it!" He opened a pack of cigarettes and continued. "Besides, if that ever happened, mom would chase after me with her shotgun, and let me tell you, she never misses!" And with that, he lit the stick and placed it in his mouth.

"Those things are bad for you, you know that, right?" inquired Lloyd sheepishly.

"If one's a gentleman, things like that don't concern him," responded Sven. "As long as I stick to my Gentleman's Code, things will work out."

"Gentleman's Code?" Lloyd tried hard to stifle a chuckle. "Are you a part of a secret society like the Freemasons or something, or is it a part of your religion?

Sven sighed. "For one, I'm Jewish, and as for the Code, to put it simply, it states what is becoming of a gentleman and what isn't. Something that applies only to guys like me and Charden."

"That still doesn't answer my question!" complained Lloyd hopelessly. As he pouted, Sven couldn't help but grin. But as they drove through the university campus, his grin turned grim as he spotted the last person he wanted to see near one of the frat houses.

"Our first stop is the Beta Tau Chi house. That anonymous tipster said we would find what we needed here," explained Lloyd, not seeing what Sven saw. "Now we need to figure out-"

"Stop the car, Lloyd," demanded Sven rapidly; he craned his neck out his window to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him. Lloyd put the car to a halt and looked where his partner was gazing, not understanding the meaning of this. He could only assume it was misfortune when Sven smacked his forehead and uttered, "Oh my god…"

Waving at the two IBI agents ecstatically was none other than the petite purple haired Rinslet Walker.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the chapter delay, but I'll make up for it in the Q n' A, I promise!**

What did Lloyd say that made Sven raise his eyebrows? **Well, Lloyd talked about how he met his wife in high school, and how they eloped without their parents knowing, their good and bad times…and then he went on about the kind of things that can make anyone raise their eyebrows! This doesn't mean that Lloyd is perverted, but naturally, he thought it wouldn't be a big deal in a guy to guy talk.**

Charden + Sephy …?** No, Charden has not forgotten about Kyoko. If anything, talking to Sephiria about his problems made him more aware of how much he missed her. And as for the interaction between him and Sephy, they've become friends because she wants to help him and he needs someone to give him fair, unbiased advice. So in a sense, Sephiria has kind of become Charden's therapist, (which is why they met at a psychology lecture). **

And the drawing contest???** I've received lots of questions concerning this, so answer and clarify I shall!**

**Entries should focus on Sven and Tearju. NO SEX OR NUDITY! At least not for this contest!**

**Can either be done in color or ink**

**Participants must provide a link/URL to their drawing, preferably through Deviant Art or a similar site; if this is not possible, please send it through a FanFiction PM.**

**All entries are due by midnight of Wednesday, January 31, 2007! The bit about it not being due until the sixth installment is _null and void._**

**If you have any additional questions, please send me a message.**


	6. Rins's 1001 Slang Terms and Euphemisms

**Disclaimer: **

**deiflloV nevS ro taC kcalB nwo ton od I do not own Black Cat or Sven Vollfied. Nor do I own the character that will make a surprise cameo. Who is it? Just wait and see…**

**Big Sleuth on Campus**

"How's her condition, doctor? Stable? Good, very good, doctor…Uh huh, I understand, but I wanted to ask…Oh no. My god, how's she doing with…What? How serious is it? Please tell me doctor. I must know…I don't care, doctor! What's going…Irreversible? _Irreversible_?! What the hell kind of answer is that? She's only been there for…Fine; I'll listen…yeah…are you sure? There's nothing you can do…it got her that bad? Urg…no, not today. It's not like a visit would do any good. Please take good care of her for now…she means the world to me…what do you mean, 'I get that all the time'?...Oh, you're that guy Dr. House…Yeah, I've heard stories about you…mostly good. Just do the best you can, alright? I'll call back tomorrow…no, I do not have any Vicodin, doctor. Good bye now."

With a shattered sigh, Charden replaced the phone back on the receiver, then sprawled himself out on the sofa that was still a bit damp from the water incident that morning. His hands covered his face in despair as the recent news sunk in. Not the news, but rather, the shock of the whole thing weighed heavily on his shoulders. Kyoko's memory had not improved, and her chances of living were just as slim as her chances of a full recovery. But bodies could heal; lost feelings and broken dreams could not.

In a sense, Kyoko was never coming back.

* * *

"Sven, Sven, Sven, SVEN!" squealed Rinslet excitedly as she ran towards the car. Had Sven not seen behind the girl's disguises beforehand, he would have mistaken her for a college student. Once again, she had donned her tall shoes, makeup, tight clothes, and those despicable plastic boobs. From a dainty little purse hoisted on her arm, a brown curly wig could be seen protruding from its depths. Apparently Rinslet's masquerade worked wonders, though, because Lloyd stared at her for several seconds.

"Is this that Tearju woman you always talk about?" he finally asked.

Not believing what his partner just said, Sven slowly turned towards him, gave him the stare of death, then yelled incredulously, "Of course not, you moron! Why would I like some random twelve year old stalker who shouldn't even be on this campus?! _Gevalt_!" Facing Rinslet again, he stated, "Look, I don't know how you got here or where on earth you got that ridiculous costume, but I want you to get in the car right now and-"

"Keep my mouth shut about the big trade-off going on tonight?" cut in Rinslet defiantly. This made both agents forfeit their attention to her instantly. "You won't find anything at the Beta Tau Chi house today; there's going to be a huge party at the sorority house later this evening, and every illegal substance on god's green earth is going to be dealt. Hash, reefs, snow, dust, speed, snuff, bongs, joints, sugar cubes …"

"We get it!" intervened Sven. "God, where did you learn all those names from?" In an innocent manner, Rinslet conjured a book from her purse titled "1001 Illegal Drug Slang Terms and Euphemisms". Lloyd leaned forward in amazement, but was pushed back by an irate Sven. "I see…now, how did you stumble upon this, and more importantly, is it valid?"

Little Rinslet waved a hand towards a tree next to the frat house. "Why don't you just ask him?"

Gazing at the direction in which she pointed, Lloyd and Sven were at a loss for words. For there, behind the frat house, hanging in a fishnet tied to a stout branch of the tree, was none other than Maro, vice-head of the university chapter of the Beta Tau Chi. For as monstrously rotund as he appeared, the net and the thick branch held fast despite his aerial thrashings and muffled cries. (His mouth had been gagged with a tiny white cat plushie Rins had bought for emergencies, causing him to look like he was munching on a feline.) Mumbling in an aggravated tone, Sven exited the car, with Lloyd following suit, and towered over Rinslet as they observed the distressed Maro struggling.

"Let him down, Rinslet," demanded Sven, folding his arms and giving her a supercilious glare. With an audible pout, the girl in question began to clamber up the tree, but was stopped by Lloyd trying to tug her away from the trunk. This was met with a blunt, "What the hell are you doing?" from Sven.

"Don't try and undo the ropes just yet," ordered Lloyd, glancing up at Maro, then to the branch that suspended him, and then to Rinslet, who had already scampered up the tree six feet, and who was now holding on to dear life in resistance to the tugging. "I have the feeling this guy's going to snap the branch-" At this point, little Rins tumbled off the trunk and into Lloyd's arms.

"Nonsense!" disrupted Sven, standing directly under Maro and inspecting the tree, the net, and the fat man within. "Sure, he may be hefty, but I've seen my dad use branches thinner than this to pull up boxes of building supplies much heavier. And this net, (I'm not even going to ask where you got it, Rins), looks strong enough to hold a good seven or eight hundred-"

"**Get out of the way!**" In a flash, Lloyd clutched Rinslet close to him and tackled Sven with the strength of a bull. The force knocked all three out of the way as the branch snapped wickedly and the threads of the net unraveled. There was hardly any time for Maro to scream as he crashed to ground with a sickening thud.

Dusting himself off, Sven helped Rinslet and Lloyd up, and then went to stand over the mass of net and flab inquisitively. Even though it was the middle of the day, Maro was dressed in the Beta Tau Chi uniform, which held a disturbing resemblance of a sumo wrestler's "diaper". True to the girl's word, Sven found no traces of any other people in the area. Assured by this, he began his inquiry.

"Agent Vollfied from the IBI here, along with Agent Goldwynn," he introduced, then looked at Rinslet making puppy eyes at him, "as well as Trainee Walker."

Maro's almost nonexistent eyebrows rose at this. "Hey, you're that Sven dweeb that Gyanza keeps talking about!"

"Shut up or I'll have you arrested," snapped Sven severely, "Now; we've gathered information concerning an under-the-table trade off occurring this evening within the Greek system. Is this or is this not true?"

"Maybe, maybe not," shrugged Maro under the netting. "Our group lives for parties, and Leader Shiki never lets us down. I've heard certain things flying around, but that's classified Beta Tau Chi info gathered from Delta Kappa Psi."

"Well, I'll have to beat up your Alpha Sigma Sigma if you don't spill!" On saying this, Sven went around to one of the sides of the net and proceeded to tighten it forcefully. Not knowing what to do, Rinslet tried to help as well until the encasing made Maro grunt in pain. Lloyd would have nothing to do with this.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" whined Maro, "Fine! I'll tell you!" This made Sven and Rinslet slacken their grip, allowing Maro to crawl out from the netted prison. He sat up on the ground and rubbed the crossing indentions in his skin. "I don't know the details, but some of the students on this campus are from the Bernado gang. Druggies, all of them. A big bash is going on tonight at the abandoned Torneo Mansion tonight at nine o'clock sharp. You'll find everything you need there."

A noise came from the front. "Sven, what are you doing?" piped up Rins as she spotted her green-haired idol race back to the front of the frat house. Curiously, she swung her head around the side of the tree to watch as he made his way towards the car.

Sven examined the interior of the car through the window and swore loud enough to make Lloyd involuntarily cover Rinslet's ears. "Some son of a _putz _broke the lock and ran off with our equipment!" he exasperated. Within seconds, Lloyd and Rins galloped to his side and gasped at the sight. Almost the entire dashboard, once laden with valuable mechanisms, technologies, and instruments, had disappeared. Skillfully cut wires that showed not even a fray sprouted instead, blossoming sparks at intervals. What was more, (upon noticing, Sven took the liberty of using another swear word as he hit his head against the car), the portfolio containing all the information pertaining to case was nowhere to be seen.

Quickly and simultaneously, the two detectives jolted back to Maro's confinement, and were shocked to find him, net and all, gone. Anxiously, Sven looked about him, wondering how all of this could have been pulled off without his knowing. He, an IBI agent, of all people should have done something! Set the car alarm; keep the documents by his side; have one of them stay by the car at all times; keep Maro trapped; there were a million things he could have done to prevent this! Sven didn't know why, but he felt tears welling up in his eyes as the heaviness of defeat weighed him down, bringing him to his knees in the grass. What would Naizer say? What would his parents say? What would Tearju… "I screwed up," he murmured, "I screwed up big time."

"SVEN! Lloyd wants you to come over here!" he heard Rinslet shout, snapping him out of his misery for the moment. With an effort, Sven picked himself back up and came to the tree that Lloyd and Rins were scrutinizing so intently. For there, caught in the twigs of a low branch, was a tuft of crinkly black hair. Sven cautiously poked it, and Rinslet thought she could hear him whisper "Gyanza".

In a sudden movement, Sven turned around and began to run deeper into the college campus. His pace was so rapid that Lloyd and Rinslet had to jog to keep a few feet behind him. As they strove to keep up, Lloyd demanded, "Sven, where are you going?"

Sven only answered, "Don't you know? We have a party to crash!"

* * *

**A/N: Sorry if this chapter seemed too short! I wanted to update this, but I've been having severe writer's block, hence the short chapter. Now, won't you be good and munch on some Q n' A!**

OMG! Kyoko! And what's House doing there? **Yes, it is so sad, Kyoko's condition has gotten potentially worse…;; And as for Dr. House, I thought it would be a nice little twist to the small stuff that makes the story! Not like he'll reappear, cause then that would turn it into a Black Cat/House fanfic…and I can't think of doing that any time soon.**

Plastic boobs?! **Yes, Rinslet just happened to be fairly flat-chested in her preteens, and in order to pull off certain disguises, it would be better she did that than risk appearing suspicious, or worse, being mistaken for a man!**

The Art Contest! The Special Chapter! What hath becometh of that?** The art contest was not as successful as I planned, seeing as I got no entries; thus there is no winner. The content of the special chapter, then, shall be determined by me. However, I am still looking for some ideas, since I plan for the special chapter to consist of some Big Sleuth related drabbles. What _I_ intend to contribute, however, will be a surprise! If you want to contribute, please PM me, and I will select the ones I think would be best for the special chapter. **


	7. Save Him the Trouble

**Disclaimer: Black Cat I own not. Sven Vollfied I own not. Owned by Kentaro Yabuki, they are. Clobber Yoda for making me talk like this, I shall!**

**Big Sleuth on Campus**

It took all the will in his body to pick up the phone in his apartment and dial her number. As the ringing tone sounded, Charden could feel his entire body tense up, and again he rehearsed in his mind exactly what he would say to her. _Hey, what's up? Listen, if you have a minute, I just wanted to have a chat with you about…_ Ugh, there was no way he could make what was on his mind sound casual. _Maybe she won't have her cell phone on her. Boy, would that save me a lot of trouble. It's not too late for her to be in a class or important talk, is it? Now that would be embarrassing. Perhaps I'll just get her voice mail and I can…_

"Hello?" answered a woman on the other end of the line.

_Dammit!_ Part of Charden had hoped she wouldn't answer, if only to save him from unease. Nonetheless, he tried to talk, stopping himself a few times before finally managing, "Sephiria Arks? I-it's me…Charden. I-uh, j-just wanted to call and say…hi?" How stupid he felt.

A kind chuckle resounded on the other end. "Oh, Charden, you're so sweet when you're shy!" Sephiria couldn't see him blush. "Come on now; is there something you wanted to talk about?"

This was the hard part. Charden could either lie and come off as an even bigger idiot, or he could risk telling the truth and feeling like a nutcase for having such trivial worries about Kyoko. Or, he could always go with number three…It almost always worked when he was in a tight spot, especially in phone calls…

"_**You are my sunshine,**_

_**My only sunshine.**_

_**You make me happy**_

_**When skies are gay**_ I mean _**grey!**_

_**You'll never know, dear,**_

_**How much I **_uh…_**admire you,**_

Um, oh crap…_**And I forget the rest of the words!"**_

This didn't get the intended what-the-hell pause Charden was aiming for, (that was his cue for hanging up on the other person and acting like nothing odd happened.) Quite the contrary; he clearly heard Sephiria cracking up gleefully on the other end of the line. More than anything now Charden just wanted to stick his head in the oven and save Sven the trouble of cooking dinner. But any mutilating thoughts were put on hold when Sephiria gained her composure and declared, between light chuckles, "Okay, I'm coming over; I'll bring some things over to make us dinner."

"Wait, wha-?" She hung up.

* * *

"Don't you think we should have some sort of plan before we jump into this?" expressed Lloyd, who was panting profusely after having chased Sven for a good half of a mile. The latter had only stopped because little Rinslet had tripped over a rock and sprained her ankle, resulting in inevitable yelps of pain. Sighing, he now tended to the young self-appointed agent (a title Rins gave herself) and examined her ankle while she lay on the grass. By now, the trio had made it to one of the college's pocket parks, and they still had a ways to go before reaching their destination; another mile would take them to the southern campus gate, then half-mile of road would lead to the abandoned Torneo mansion.

The sun was already starting to set, and Lloyd glanced at his watch. "It's now seven-fifteen, guys; we'll get there in another hour or two, so I suggest we take a short break and let our little princess rest her ankle."

_Princess, _thought Sven to himself, _suiting…she looks spoiled and prissy like one. Makes you wonder what her parents do for a living…_Giving Rinslet's foot one last look-over, he removed his suit jacket, sprawled himself out on the grass and closed his eyes. What his mind needed now was a rest from the stress that weighed heavily on his conscience. So Sven let his thoughts wander, to the coolness of the grass he lay on, to the light breeze on his face, and to the prospect of seeing Tearju the next day.

He must have dozed off, because Sven felt a tiny foot nudging him in the side. Opening his eyes, he found Rinslet's face inches away from his, close enough for him to smell her bubblegum breath. "You're invading my personal space," Sven stated plainly, rolling over to his side and standing up. "Anyhow, are you going to be able to walk?"

The young girl glanced at her ankle, but then turned back and smiled. "Lloyd said that if I started to hurt that you'd give me a piggy-back ride!" Her glee was more than evident, and Sven could almost swear that she blushed beneath the light of the setting sun. Ignoring that, he turned to Lloyd and gave him a milder version of the stare of death. The latter simply shrugged.

"I couldn't do it; chronic back pain, you know," testified Lloyd innocently.

Sven grumbled as he put his suit jacket back on, "I'll 'chronic back pain' you if I end up carrying her the whole way." Then he raised his voice and agonized, "I don't think babysitting was part of my contract!"

* * *

"Charden! Pasta's ready!" Sephiria called from the kitchen. Charden had been busy setting the table and preparing the salad for their impromptu dinner date at the apartment. Nonetheless, he had miraculously tidied the dining room, picked up the living room in the fifteen minutes, and changed into a nicer shirt before Sephiria had arrived. Now, Charden watched as she served the noodles in two mismatched bowls and brought them to the table, smirked when he saw she was wearing the "Cutie in the Kitchen" apron, (though he couldn't bring himself to tell her it was Sven's). He gave the salad a final toss before helping Sephiria into her chair like the gentleman he was. Once Charden took his own seat at the opposite side of the table, a silence followed that was almost suffocating.

The host could feel himself perspire with anxiety as they both twirled pasta around their forks soundlessly. _Charden, welcome to Embarrassment City, population: one_,thought he to himself, pushing his sunglasses up uneasily, glancing over to the seemingly unaffected Sephiria. _Geez, first I make a fool of myself over the telephone, acting like a twelve year old trying to weasel out of his chores, and now I have to entertain a girl I've barely met, but to whom I was able to spill out my life story. Take me now, oven! _

A small chuckle diverted Charden's attention from his thoughts to his self-invited guest. "Why are you laughing?" inquired Charden as calmly as he could.

Sephiria ceased her giggles and took another bite of her pasta. Charden kept a close eye on her behind his sunglasses and…wait, was that just the light, or was she blushing? Passively he shook it off and the two finished their meal in silence.

Right after Charden had gotten up to put the plates in the sink, Sephiria bounded towards the sofa, plopped herself down, and motioned for him to take a seat. Confused, he obeyed and gazed into her eyes, waiting. "Tell me everything that's been going on," insisted Sephiria.

* * *

"…but what the teacher didn't know was that I had caught it all on tape! It was a simple matter of getting my hands on a ring camcorder, but once I showed it to the school board, BAM! His district fund nabbing days were over!" Perched on Sven's shoulders, Rinslet had decided to dictate some of her proud sleuthing achievements, to which Lloyd listened intently and with a profound amazement. Now the trio had half a mile to go until they reached the mansion, and thirty minutes to cover it. Shifting the weight on his shoulders, Sven sighed. Hell, this girl had picked her first lock before she could walk, shoplifted at the age of four, and while Sven was learning about most basic basics of clocks at the age of seven, Rinslet had already dismantled a bomb and put it back together in such a way that instead of exploding, it made an obscene farting noise. And this girl was only twelve?! How could her parents handle such a mischievous little hell raiser, much less allow such a child to even step out her front door? Unless…

"So, what do your parents do for a living?" asked Lloyd curiously. "Do they travel a lot and leave you to fend for yourself? Or do they work crazy hours and give you a chance to work your magic?"

For the first time in about an hour, Rinslet fell completely silent. Her grip tightened around Sven's head while her own hung low, shadows playing across her once cheery face. Noise seemed to cease all around them as the first stars began to glitter in the dark sky despite the street lamps. Almost as a whisper, the words came to her.

"My father died from cancer the day before I was born, and mom took care of me all by herself until I was nine. That's when…" Rins sniffed and choked back her sobs, "That's when mom was…was…!"

Sven could feel Rinslet's tears wet his green hair and hear her chest heaving with despair. He came to a stop along a darkened part of the road and gently detached Rins from his back. Lloyd immediately came to the young girl's side and gave her a fatherly embrace. Just seeing this seemed to strike a broken chord deep in Sven's heart. _God,_ he thought, _how could anyone live without their parents?_ Instantly, his mind replayed the argument from yesterday, and all the spiteful, selfish comments he and his father had flung at each other like softballs. Yet as furious as those quarrels always left him, and as much as he had shouted "I hate you!" and "Drop dead!" to his own father, Sven could not imagine a single day without General Hans Reuben Vollfied; his dad. And here was a girl with no parents, perhaps even no guardian, for her to love or hate, to please or piss off. Part of him wanted to reach out and clutch little Rinslet, but she already had started to wipe away her tears.

Rins insisted between tiny hiccups, "It's okay, really, it is…I usually don't cry in front of other people, and I've gotten used to living with my aunt Annette for the past few years." She looked up and managed a tiny smile. "You need to meet her, Mr. Lloyd and Sven. She makes loads of money as a sweeper!"

"Sweeper…" muttered Sven pensively. A freelance bounty hunter, living from catch to catch. So this is how Rinslet got her thieving spunk; go figure. _Wouldn't want to be a sweeper, no sir! Just give me a check every two weeks and I'll be dandy!_

Up ahead, the looming silhouette of the abandoned Torneo mansion towered over the path, a mere two hundred yards away. Specks of light penetrated the darkness and odd music jumble began to reach the ears of the detectives. Stealthily, the trio weaved their way through the nearby shrubbery until they were just a stone's throw away from the bustling front entrance. Men garbed in the Beta Tau Chi sumo-like outfit escorted at least one woman, who dangled at their arms like jewelry, primped and ready to show off.

Reaching in his pocket and patting his concealed pistol, Sven leered through the leaves and set his gaze on a particularly rotund doorman. Sure enough, there stood Maro, proud in his outfit, admitting his fellow frat friends into the energetic hub inside the abandoned mansion. But just seeing the double-crossing j_shmuck_ there was not what had caught his attention, for directly attached to his arm by a leg band nestled a firearm that Sven recognized immediately.

"My god," whispered Sven, clutching Lloyd and pointing at the fat greeter, "that's a prototype for the IBI's TR-41N! Eight shots per second, capable of piercing through a six feet of wood, can wipe out a band of thugs with one round!" It was then that he remembered that he brought it along to study and analyze as one of his first assignments for the weapons depot. And that he had left it in the plundered car. "Dammit! Naizer had trusted me with that baby!"

"So it was definitely Shamu who robbed you guys?" mused Rinslet.

"Nah, for everything to be gone in a matter of minutes, there had to be at least five or six more guys," reasoned Sven as he slowly rose to his feet. "But Fatkins is gonna pay for nabbing classified government firearms!" Fingers wrapped around his hidden gun, Sven was about to step out into the open and enter the mansion when Lloyd tugged him back down with tremendous weight.

Lloyd put a finger to his lips. "You're not going to get in there like that, Vollfied. Watch." Rubbing his sore butt, Sven peered back at the entryway to see a man in relatively normal clothing approach Maro and speak to him. Though the words were inaudible from so far away, an argument had definitely ensued. Maro crossed his arms and shook his head as the white haired man jumped up and down and pointed to his leopard print shirt and skinny black pants with embroidered roses. The hefty doorman would not budge. A dash was attempted to sneak into the party, but the man was caught by Maro and squealed as he was hurled a good fifteen feet away from the entrance. Dusting off his hands, Maro resumed his patrol.

"…Oh my," murmured Sven after the spectacle. "No admittance for the average Joes, or in Diskenth's case average Janes." As he continued to watch, couples and single girls stepped through the entry, and he began to notice a pattern.

"Those unescorted girls are getting by, no questions asked," shared Sven with Lloyd and Rinslet. "God knows what's going on in there…"

Suddenly, Rins beamed as though she possessed a brilliant idea. Hurriedly, she began to dig through her purse and tried to explain all the while. "Sven, you're a genius! It has to be ladies' night or something, otherwise those girls would have to identify themselves in some manner. And since we can't get our hands on one of those Beta Tau Chi outfits, we need to carry out Plan X! Mr. Lloyd and I will stay here and keep guard while you, Sven, will be our mole and find your way to the head of this heist…Ah, here it is, your disguise!"

Out of the depths of her bag Rinslet pulled out that almost made Sven cry. He would much rather get run over by a bus, or discover that he had a fatal disease, or stick his head in the oven and save Charden the trouble of cooking dinner. For there in the young girl's hands lay a skimpy, red dress.

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait, peoples! Again, the writer's block struck again, and school was very occupying. I'm so glad to get this chapter off my chest; now remains the matter of starting the next one! So in the meantime, a Q and an A shall gladly commence!**

Ok, you kinda lost me on the timeframe here…just how much time has passed? **Yeah, one of the hard parts I find when writing is being sure to keep track of time within the story. It does get confusing if a period of two weeks went by, then it started going by days. And some of the gaps in time are completely my fault, because I often make the plots as I go along. So…an abridged version of time passed thus far!**

Mid-August, Saturday: Big Sleuth Ch. 1 events

Sunday: passes in beginning of Ch. 2

Monday: First half of Ch. 2 events

Tuesday – Saturday: Time jump

Sunday – Friday: Time jump

Saturday: Second half of Ch. 2 events and hospital scene of Ch. 3

Sunday: Time jump

Monday: Rest of Ch. 3 events

Tuesday: All Ch. 4 events

Wednesday: Ch. 5, 6, 7, and 8 events all take place

**Yeah, this further confirms the fact that Wednesdays are the longest days of the week!**

Will Kyoko regain her memory?** Excellent question, but I do not intend on revealing the answer yet. Whether or not Kyoko recovers will have a huge impact on the direction of the story. In other words, what happens to her will either keep the storyline true to the series or send it flying into AU land, and either would be find with me, but I still do not know which path to take! If there are any suggestions, I ask you, the reader, to give me your opinion!**

Woah, Charden's song was so random! **Ya like, ya like? Think of it this way; have you ever done something so incredibly stupid that in order to save your dignity, you tried to pass as a person who was utterly nuts to begin with? It's kinda like that, and no, I have never attempted Charden's song in a real life situation! **


	8. How Did I Get Dragged into This?

**Disclaimers: I do not own Black Cat or Sven Vollfied or a skimpy red dress. **

**Big Sleuth on Campus**

Just looking at that…_thing_ demeaned his manhood. But what he had to pull off next went beyond any embarrassing moment he had ever had in his whole damn life…

"Oh my god, Sven!" squealed Rinslet from their hideout in the bushes. "You look so sexy in drag!"

Indeed. With only a swanky red dress, heels, some makeup, a small bottle of hair remover and cloth squares, and Rinslet's plastic boobs, Sven Vollfied, the blooming twenty-one year old detective, had been (forcibly) transformed into a dashing, almost prostitute-like woman with killer legs. His green hair now gleamed with glittery clips, his eyes illuminated under mascara and eye shadow, and his blush-enhanced cheeks held ruby red lips. Rinslet gazed at him in awe, while Lloyd stifled a laugh as they hid in the bushes.

"Remind me again why I have to go trans while you two do nothing," grunted Sven, who stroked at his now hairless legs insecurely.

By now, Lloyd was having to burrow his face in Sven's shirt in order to muffle his laughs. He finally regained enough composure to repeat the initiative. "Rinslet is too young to be around college kids and I would not be able to blend in with frat boys at all." Lloyd let a chuckle escape as he mused aloud, "Just be thankful Rins didn't have one of those sumo outfit on her hands!"

"Don't worry, Sven," assured Rinslet, adjusting the straps on the skimpy dress. "Most of those guys will be too stoned to tell you apart from a lampshade!"

_Great, way to make me feel less stupid…_ thought Sven. He sifted through his purse, (graciously donated by Rins), and double checked his resources: a small handgun with half a cartridge, his cell phone with only enough juice for two calls at the most, a spray can of mace, a switch blade knife, a tiny bottle of acid, a lock picker, three small tranquilizer syringes, some extra makeup, and a compact mirror. But out of the items Rins had, (by some mistake or unexplained phenomenon), in her possession, Sven made sure to make note of the palm-sized air filter and smelling salts tucked in the zipped compartment of the purse.

Without having to be told, Sven slinked out of the bushes and casually into the beeline of people walking towards the mansion entrance. He tried his best to maintain his balance while strutting in his sexy stilettos, which felt like walking on kabob skewers. After several close calls, Sven finally presented himself at the doorway as elegantly as a twenty-something year old man could.

"You hear with one of the members, babe?" inquired Maro, startling Sven out of his wits. Never had he felt so small and defenseless against such a rotund bouncer. The sly expression on Maro's face made the situation even more disturbing. "What's your name, sweetheart?"

_Whew, at least I look enough like a woman to not be recognized by him! _Sven relaxed a bit, but now faced a new problem; a name and voice. In his mind, he quickly played through how he could make his voice feminine without overdoing it. After that moment, he took a deep breath, and in a silky tone gave the first name that came to his head…

"Annette," he replied, "Annette Walker." Sven made sure to tighten his vocal chords some and put a tiny bit of growl in when he spoke. "Now out of my way, hot shot." As if by magic, Maro stepped aside and permitted passage into the rowdy mansion. Annette Sven Walker looked back before taking his first steps into the bustling party.

**Q 'n A: Sorry for such a short chapter, but I had to let everyone know that I was still alive and that I will be continuing the story, along with Black Cat Follies. Summer has just been so busy that I had no time for this, hence the chapter shortness and lack of updates.**


	9. MovieQuality Situations

**Disclaimers: I do not own any of the songs mentioned in this story, or Black Cat or Sven Vollfied, who is one of the most delicious anime sex muffins I've ever beheld…but that's besides the point.**

**Alright, so I had writer's block after the eighth installment of BSOC. I realized that I had run myself into a plothole because the story there wrote itself faster than it developed. In other words, the plot spoke without thinking. So I am doing the best thing I can do…I'm starting on a clean slate.**

**Call me cheap, but believe me, it will be worth the jump!**

**So what happened? Well: Sven was able to rat out Shiki as the ringleader who had partnered up with the Bernado family to sell drugs to the college students. Shiki, Maro, and Lugart were arrested, though Gyanza and one other suspect escaped. Lloyd and Rinslet were alright, and Sven got all the stolen equipment back. It wasn't until he got back to his apartment at midnight that he realized he had promised to meet Tearju that day. So, he decided to make it up to her the following Saturday…**

**Big Sleuth on Campus**

Thank god for Saturdays. The past week had almost killed Sven, in a few cases literally. He had helped crack the college's drug case, and as much as he hated it, he had to arrest three of his own peers. Worst of all, he had to do it all in drag. He remembered how much he shocked the other students as he came out of the frat house with the suspects, with his kabob-heeled shoes, smeared makeup, and skimpy dress cleverly ripped to expose his very manly chest. Not that he regretted it, but it seemed as though he had somehow gained superiority over them. And he wasn't used to that.

Still, what upset him the most was the fact that Gyanza had gotten away. Not only did Sven have a personal bone to pick with him, but the IBI determined that he had initiated the car sabotage. Sven could handle getting tripped, being called a baby, or even having one of his research papers ripped to shreds by Gyanza, but this…this pushed Sven over the edge. This made him look like a goddamn idiot for not keeping an eye on things. He could have cost the IBI millions to replace the stolen equipment. It was enough to drive anyone insane.

But Sven would not be weighed down. That's what he had promised to himself, and especially to Tearju. She had told him that there were some things in life that could not be controlled, but that _he _could control how _he_ handled them. It seemed that Tearju had a certain way with inspiring others, and Sven loved the comfort he felt after she said those simple, powerful words.

It made him love her even more.

To make it up to her, Sven had told Tearju to meet him at Silphy's Café at 8:00 that Saturday evening. (There was no way he could get out Thursday or Friday.) The place was a popular campus hangout with fine coffee, killer scones and pie, and civilized people who did not stagger around bars and frat houses. Every Saturday night there was live entertainment, often performed by the college students. A few noteworthy veterans of Silphy's included the metal group Beryl Roll (with Durham Glaster, Beluga J. Heard, Preta Ghoul and Igor Planter) and the Falcon Cakes (with Woodney on jazz trumpet, Kranzer Maduke on piano, and Deek Slasky on double bass).

What Sven didn't tell her, though, was that he was going to be the entertainment.

* * *

At 7:55 p.m., Sven sat on a stool towards the front of the stage and tuned his guitar. He played his black electric guitar as a past time, never expecting to make it big. In fact, he and his little group had been hastily put together just for that night. Sven glanced over at Charden, who was shouting orders to the sound tech guy and practicing some fingerings on his electric bass. Then he turned back to look at Sephiria, who Charden considered a fantastic drummer, adjusting her cymbals and humming a song. All three wore jeans and their choice of t-shirt, giving them the sort of rock group look that blended perfectly with the atmosphere of java and cigarette smoke.

Sven scanned the steady stream of people coming in and those who already sat at the scattered tables. He couldn't see Tearju yet, but he did abruptly realize that he was performing in front of many people he knew; among them were Jenos and Tanya from calculus, Durham and Ash from government, his chemistry lab partner Baldor, and even his ex, Echidna. Suddenly, Sven felt incredibly nervous. He had never really performed for anyone in his life, not counting that middle school talent show where his guitar act got interrupted by a fire alarm. Now he felt exposed and vulnerable.

"Alright, we're starting," announced Charden, who gave a thumbs up to the sound tech guy and nodded towards Sven. The latter straightened up on his stool and dragged the microphone stand towards him. A final glance around the place…where was she?

"Good evening, everyone!" Sven's greeting was met with kind applause. He continued with a tinge of trepidation in his voice. "For those of you who don't know, I'm Sven Vollfied, this is Charden Flamberg, and this is Sephiria Arks…" Great, now came the hard part. With a final futile glance at the door, Sven counted off softly and played the first signature notes of "The Man Who Sold the World."

_We passed upon the stair  
We spoke of was and when  
Although I wasn't there  
He said I was his friend  
Which came as a surprise  
I spoke into his eyes  
I thought you died alone  
A long, long time ago_

_Oh no, not me  
We never lost control  
You're face to face  
With the man who sold the world…_

* * *

Sephiria knew why Tearju hadn't come yet. Actually, the seemingly unintentional delay was her fault.

The two girls had become closer in the past few weeks; not necessarily bosom buddies yet, but to the point where they were comfortable talking about certain personal things. Like men. While Sven was still at work on Wednesday and Charden had stepped out for a half hour to pick up some dinner for the girls, Tearju confessed that she was starting to fall very much in love with Sven. From what Sephiria gathered, he knew exactly how to make a woman happy physically, verbally, and emotionally. And apparently, he was a fantastic kisser.

Tearju also admitted that she didn't care for Sven's job, not so much for the fact that it was dangerous, but because at times, she never knew how long she would be waiting. Tearju prayed with all her heart that Wednesday evening was not merely a taste of what their evenings would be like. Between school and detective work, Sven could not spend as much time with her as either of them wanted to. The time they did have together seemed to go by like a flash, and they made the most of it by having actual, deep conversations. According to Tearju, these surmounted all other parts of the relationship because she was getting to know and trust the real Sven.

It made her love him even more.

Now, this all gave Sephiria an idea. She knew how to plan all sorts of things behind people's backs, and neither Tearju nor Sven were an exception. And nothing gave Sephiria a rush like staging movie-quality situations. Having been recruited into the entourage by Charden, she knew precisely when Sven planned to play each of his songs. Thus, an hour before they were scheduled to perform, Sephiria called Tearju and told her that due to some complications, Sven would be fifteen minutes late. If all went well, she would walk in at the best, and most romantic, part that she and several others had secretly coordinated…

* * *

At 8: 14, Sven struck the final chord to the third song. Amid the applause, he glanced at his watch and scanned the coffee shop nervously. Where was she? He cleared his throat and took no notice of Durham flashing a quick hand signal and rushing towards the entrance. "Our next song this evening goes out to a very special girl who…apparently couldn't…make it tonight." A few sympathetic sighs resonated through the coffee shop. Out of the corner of his eye, Sven spied Echidna and Baldor creeping towards the stage steps. His ex-girlfriend appeared to be carrying some sort of long, ebony stick in her hand. Yikes.

For a second, Sven diverted his gaze to the wooden planks of the stage, anything to avoid making eye contact with the audience. Yeah, he was screwed. It didn't matter what he did, the Big Guy Upstairs could care less about him and his ideal plans. With a trembling breath, Sven slowly brought his head back up, ready to face any humiliation that might come his way, braced for disappointment and loss of heart.

And there she was.

The crowd had cleared a small space in the middle of the café as Tearju stepped forward. She quietly thanked Durham for escorting her, and he in turn nodded and melded back into the audience. For Sven, it was like he was seeing Tearju again for the first time; she appeared even more beautiful than she had on the day they met. That moment could not have been more perfectly coordinated…Sven couldn't get over it. It was almost as if someone had written out the perfect script for the perfect scene.

Behind him, Sephiria smiled.

Charden came up behind Sven and quietly kidnapped his guitar, but Sven could care less. Right then, he could only see Tearju coming closer to the stage and his hand reaching out for her. Just as the tips of his fingers touched hers, Sven heard a piano melody that he instantly recognized but had not planned on performing that evening. He turned his head and saw Baldor seated at the baby grand. Echidna casually leaning on it, with that black stick (which was actually an oboe) in her hands. Charden had replaced his bass with Sven's guitar, and Sephiria had set up chimes, bells, tambourines, and other percussion instruments beside her drum set. All Sven had to do now was grab the microphone and let the song flow through him…(A/N: for an added effect, play song while reading!)

_I feel like I never measure up to who you see  
Sometimes I think I can't give you all the love you need  
You keep changing everyday  
Amazing me in everyway_

_If I could be the perfect man in your eyes  
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life  
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands  
I can only give you everything I have  
_

Sven helped Tearju onto the stage, and as he continued to sing, he held onto her hand and gazed into her eyes.

_I never dreamed I could ever feel the way I do  
I hope and pray I will always be enough for you  
I can only do my best  
I have to trust you with the rest_

_If I could be the perfect man in your eyes  
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life  
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands  
I can only give you everything I have  
_

Now he put his arm around her and pulled her body closer to his.

_I promise I will hold you through the changes and fears  
When life seems unclear  
And when I can't be right there with you  
I know there's angels by your side  
_

A tear ran down Tearju's face and he softly wiped it away.

_  
If I could be the perfect man in your eyes  
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life  
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands  
I can only give you everything...  
_

A tear ran down Sven's face.

_  
If I could be the perfect man in your eyes  
I would give all I'm worth to be a part of your life  
I could promise the world but it's out of my hands  
I can only give you everything... _(he took a slow breath) _ I have…_

Baldor and Echidna finished off with a duet, with the green haired girl giving Sven an assuring smile and nod from behind her reed. As the two prepared to hold out their final note, Sven leaned in and pressed his lips against the soft lips of Tearju. The crowd broke out in wild cheers and applause. Once the two broke for air, Sephiria came over to Sven and Tearju, loudly whispering, "Go ahead and take Tearju back to your apartment. We'll handle the rest of the show, and I'll keep Charden out for a long while." She winked at the couple and trotted back to her place behind the drums. Shrugging, Tearju took Sven's hand and together they walked offstage. On the way, they met up with Echidna and Baldor, who got ready for another song.

"Echidna, what are you doing here?" asked Sven as informally as he could.

"Oh, I just thought I would help a friend out," she responded plainly, though she decided to keep the reference of Sephiria being the "friend" to herself.

Sven gave a small nod. "So…I take it that you're alright with me dating somebody else now…"

"Yeah, of course!" There was actually a tinge of honesty in Echidna's voice. "Besides, I found someone who's more my type…" She bent over the piano towards Baldor and gave him a little peck on the cheek. Sven and Tearju exchanged confused glances before leaving the café hand in hand.

* * *

**A/N: Thousands upon thousands of apologies for the chapter delay, but with this jump, I hope that I can get back on track and dish out more stories! Here's some Q n' A to satisfy you until then. I also want to take this time to say that if anyone likes to do sexy Sven fanart and would like to share it, I will love you forever!**

What the hell took you so long, missy? And where are my Black Cat Follies? **School has taken up a lot of my time, so if you add some writer's block and my job, you've got yourself a good 4-5 month delay. When the writer's block did dissipate, I had so many new ideas for stories, kind of like a dam bursting. So for about another month, I was trying to figure out what to work on and when. I decided to get BSOC updated before the Follies because Sven needs more love.**

But wait, wait, wait…are you ever going to come back and tell us, in detail, what happened during the time jump?** Probably not. If I finish this story completely (which will not be anytime soon, there's at least ten more chapters of material I could come up for this) I might. **_**Might.**_

I know Sven's first song as well as the back of my hand, but I've never heard of the second one. Pray tell, what is it?** If you are anti-Clay Aiken, I'm warning you, please skip this part now…oh, you don't mind? Good, because I love him to death. This song is called "Everything I Have" from Clay Aiken's album **_**A Thousand Different Ways**_**, and it is by far one of the most beautiful songs that he has ever done. Even if you're not a Clay fan, this song will tug at your heart strings like nothing else. I chose for Sven to sing this because not only do the lyrics reflect his love for Tearju perfectly, but it also colorfully contrasts the Kurt Cobain song. (Personally, I think Sven's singing voice would be a combination of Cobain, Aiken, and Enrique Iglesias. Talk about a unique sound!) **


End file.
